I will breath for you
by LightInTheDarkNight
Summary: Lucy prays every night to Aslan to take her pain away.


Following the return from Narnia Lucy like her other siblings has been going into the room where the great wardrobe was residing. Only in this room surrounded with such proximity to the land she once ruled did she allow herself to cry. Tears flown down her cheeks every night. And every night she prayed to Aslan that all her subjects will be safe, land fruitful and that the winter does not overstay its visit once her siblings and she were gone, and please take the sadness away. In her heart she knew that they could not go back but the knowledge of that cut deep like a knife. So instead she prayed and hoped that the great lion hears her thoughts.

Once the sky was turning grey, just before the sun would rise over the countryside hills she would walk back to her room. Pretending she was asleep the whole night.

Peter woke up from a nightmare. He dreamt that while he slept catapults attacked Cair Paravel. Great big rocks were brutally smashing he's beautiful palace, as he lay unconscious in his chambers. Once awake he reached for his sward that he used to keep by his bed and felt nothing. He was back in his 15-year-old self. He was not the High King, yet the worry for the people in the other world did not retreat. He wondered if it ever would.

Finding that sleep has turned away from him he thought that a walk would calm him down before going back to bed. The house was quite and only the clock could be heard counting from the main room. Peter walked to the other bedrooms to check on his siblings and found the youngest missing. With no worry he simply headed to the wardrobe where he knows the Valiant Queen was residing. There have been many nights where either he or Edmund would watch Lucy sit on her knees and whisper to the wardrobe. In quite tones she would be begging Aslan for Narnia to take the pain away. Lucy new, from the moment she touched to back of the wardrobes backs that the magical door was closed. She understood that there was no going back and she felt betrayed for being stuck in this world. So she begged for Aslan to take the pain away.

He walked into the room and set down next to her. Lucy's moving lips came to a stop a few minutes later. Her glistening cheeks turned to Peter and she said,

"Hello"

Peter wraps his arm around her small body and pulled her towards him. He wanted to let her know that its goanna be okay, but he did not have a heart to lie to his sister. More than anyone he know that she was trapped in her body. Aslan please hear her prayers.

She started to cry even harder, her chest rising to catch the next breath before the other one had time to reach her lungs. Holding her closer Peter rocked her back and forth whispering a melody of a Narnian tune. Slowly the breaths became more spaced out but the tears were still falling.

"Peter what am I going to do? I am twenty-three years old Peter. I am twenty three and I'm stuck in this body!" He did not have a response for her so she just held her. Listening to her pain removed him from his. "I can not see the mirror is the bathroom when I was my hands. My hands that once held a knife and sward in them, that I fought wars by your side, hunted and signed treaties with the hands that are now smaller than the silverware in this house." They were both looking at her small, delicate, shaking hands now. "I have killed enemies with these hands. They are covered with blood and now I'm supposed to play dolls and learn the alphabet?

I sit here and I pray that he will take away the pain. I whisper his name and I beg him to take the memories away and instead I find a scar that I have forgotten about every night. I know he is saying that I have to remember. That this will make me a better person in the end, but it is hard to breath Peter. It is hard to breath and it is hard to live in this world. Everything here is suffocating and painful that I do not know how to even be. I cannot feel him in this world. There is no magic, no hope, nothing that tells me that he resides here. And if he is not here what is the point of being?"

Finally finding his words Peter uttered, "you can not think like that Lu. I will help you. I will do anything that is in my power to make it better. I will breath for you."

Both of them watching the wardrobe, both asking for help.

 _Great Lion please help me_.


End file.
